There’s usually someone or something that inspires many people into becoming the person they wish to become. I never found a person that influenced me throughout my short 18 years of life. I can honestly say that it is because of me, I am who I am today.
Although the choices I had made throughout my life got me to where I am, my mom did somewhat influence me. She’s the only person that I truly have and that has never left my side. She never told me how to live my life, but she guided me all the way to achieve whatever it was that I wanted to do. She gave me words of wisdom, but at the end I made my final decisions, good and bad. In a way, I only had myself.
There was a long period of time where I distanced myself from people and to this day, I distance myself from family. I never had an older sibling to guide me through things like, school. My mother was always working, so I usually had to go through these things on my own. Instead of having someone to actually look up to throughout my years of middle school and high school; I had to figure these things on my own. I have had a lot of people walk out of my life, and it’s really hurtful and it’s something that has seriously affected me. I came to realize that it’s not good to get attached to people because I now have the mindset that people will leave my life, whether it’s in a good way or a bad way. I learned to not get too comfortable with people.
I am someone who does not like to depend on others for anything. I am extremely independent; if I want something, I myself have to get it. I have had people guide me through certain situations that I couldn’t achieve, in this case, a therapist. I had a therapist for about a year, and that person didn’t tell me what to do or how to solve my problems, but they guided me, they gave me the “tools,” to help myself.
The biggest things that shaped me into the person I am today, and would continue to influence me, would be tough situations I have been through and continue to go through, as well as the negative things in general that we as people see on an everyday basis. I lived in a household where my parent was both my mom and dad. She is a negative example of who I do not want to be. She has been through really tough things and she ended up being a single parent having to take care of her children, while working a part time job. Of course it is not her fault. I am extremely thankful for what she has done for me and my siblings, but I do not want to end up like that.
There are other bad examples of people who I know, who I wish I would not end up as. I always lived “poorly,” I never had much growing up and I still don’t. It’s nobody’s fault; it’s just the way things turned out. I also went through this traumatic experience a couple of years ago, and I would’ve easily taken a terrible path, but I told myself and thought about the negative consequences that would have happened, and I decided to stay strong and continue with my life. I am in college now, and I have dreams to continue and hopefully get a high degree and become someone in life.
I don’t want to continue living the way I am now, I want get out of this situation for the better, and conquer what it is that I want to do. At the end, when I achieve my dreams, it’s going to be because of me. Not only do I want to prove people who have doubted me, but most importantly I want to prove to myself that I am able to do anything I set my mind too. I’m full of wounds and I’m still standing on my feet and that’s something I will continue to do.