Deconstructionism: The Bosnia List

1. Quote: “It occurred to me that over the years we’d fallen for women from all background-except ours. The only Balkan female we’d ever loved was our mother, Adisa…..the male Trebincevics had remained single because we’d never finished mourning, or because nobody could compete with Adisa’s imprint.”

2. Analysis: Kenan kept himself away from Balkan women because he felt no one could ever replace his mother’s love; he felt grief towards her and couldn’t get over it.

3. Meaning: Kenan talks through out his book how he deeply cherished his mother. He refers to his mother as the “only” Balkan woman he’s ever loved. He says how his brother Eldin as well as himself dated several women and were attracted to women of all types of backgrounds but never a woman of his own ethnicity. He shows how he confused whether it was because he missed his mother or because no other Balkian woman could ever compete with the love their mother gave them.

I stand here ironing.

In the short stor, “I Stand Here Ironing”, by Tilie Olsen, it states several importances of historical events that reflect throughout the story. While the mother (narrator) she briefly describes how she is reminiscing her past of her role as a mother when she had her first child, Emily. The way the mother acted as a single parent was completely different then how it is now, whether her actions were great or not.

Although she expressed throughout the story how she was not a good mother, she did show how she tried her best. “After awhile I found a job hashing at night so I could be with her days, and it was better.” (Pg93) She was sacrificing to work late at night so that she will be able to spend time with her daughter when she was only 19. She knew what she had to do in order to care for her child. She also showed how she tried to fight to her Emily back when she had to give her away to the father’s family. She knew that it wasn’t a good environment for her so she tried to win her back. She tried to care for her but did not necessarily succeed. She had many cons to how she wasn’t an “okay” mother. “Except when we left her alone at nights, telling ourselves she was old enough.” (Pg 94) At this point she had already met a man who she seemed to give her attention too, instead of her own daughter. She would constantly leave her alone with the excuse that she was a big girl. She was the type of mother who didnt put her children first then any other person. At this time of era, parents were able to send their children off to “group homes” when they thought they were unable to care for them. The mother chose to send her away. “They persuaded me at the clinic to send her away to a convalescent home in the country where, “she will be able to have food and care you cant manage to give her and you’ll be free to hang the new baby.” (Pg94) She thought to her sel that her dauhter would be better off in a place where she knows no one. Maybe it seemed easier to send her away so she wouldn’t care for her.

Between the era in which the mother lived in till this present day, social issues change within this historical issue. Young mothers back in the day did not really have a clue on how to care for their children. Of course it was alot more difficult to deal with. There wasnmt as much help for this woman to recieve like there is today. Now a days it is quite different because therems such thing as government help such as, housing, social security money, medical, etc to help families/single parents in need. If the mother wouldve have the assistance there is today, she probably wouldve been a much more better mom to her child.

Persepolisq

Questions:

1. Why did Marji not take her parents with her when she went abroad?

2. Marji said in the beginning of the movie that she lived a “normal” life. War, violence, deaths, etc. was “normal” to her?

Notes:

Similaraties with Malala: Girls were taught in school that if men near them, etc. they would burn in hell.

The Shah was a dictator. Supposedly “modernized” iran.

Marji was being told it was wrong to dress “modernized”

When people we extremely sick, they were not allowed to go abroad to see other doctors.

Final Draft.

There’s usually someone or something that inspires many people into becoming the person they wish to become. I never found a person that influenced me throughout my short 18 years of life. I can honestly say that it is because of me, I am who I am today.

Although the choices I had made throughout my life got me to where I am, my mom did somewhat influence me. She’s the only person that I truly have and that has never left my side. She never told me how to live my life, but she guided me all the way to achieve whatever it was that I wanted to do. She gave me words of wisdom, but at the end I made my final decisions, good and bad. In a way, I only had myself.

There was a long period of time where I distanced myself from people and to this day, I distance myself from family. I never had an older sibling to guide me through things like, school. My mother was always working, so I usually had to go through these things on my own. Instead of having someone to actually look up to throughout my years of middle school and high school; I had to figure these things on my own. I have had a lot of people walk out of my life, and it’s really hurtful and it’s something that has seriously affected me. I came to realize that it’s not good to get attached to people because I now have the mindset that people will leave my life, whether it’s in a good way or a bad way. I learned to not get too comfortable with people.

I am someone who does not like to depend on others for anything. I am extremely independent; if I want something, I myself have to get it. I have had people guide me through certain situations that I couldn’t achieve, in this case, a therapist. I had a therapist for about a year, and that person didn’t tell me what to do or how to solve my problems, but they guided me, they gave me the “tools,” to help myself.

The biggest things that shaped me into the person I am today, and would continue to influence me, would be tough situations I have been through and continue to go through, as well as the negative things in general that we as people see on an everyday basis. I lived in a household where my parent was both my mom and dad. She is a negative example of who I do not want to be. She has been through really tough things and she ended up being a single parent having to take care of her children, while working a part time job. Of course it is not her fault. I am extremely thankful for what she has done for me and my siblings, but I do not want to end up like that.

There are other bad examples of people who I know, who I wish I would not end up as. I always lived “poorly,” I never had much growing up and I still don’t. It’s nobody’s fault; it’s just the way things turned out. I also went through this traumatic experience a couple of years ago, and I would’ve easily taken a terrible path, but I told myself and thought about the negative consequences that would have happened, and I decided to stay strong and continue with my life. I am in college now, and I have dreams to continue and hopefully get a high degree and become someone in life.

I don’t want to continue living the way I am now, I want get out of this situation for the better, and conquer what it is that I want to do. At the end, when I achieve my dreams, it’s going to be because of me. Not only do I want to prove people who have doubted me, but most importantly I want to prove to myself that I am able to do anything I set my mind too. I’m full of wounds and I’m still standing on my feet and that’s something I will continue to do.

Who Inspired Me? Rough Draft

There’s usually someone or something that inspire many people that help shape them into the person they wish to become. I never found a person that influenced me through out my short 18 years of life. I can honestly say that because of me, I am who I am today. Although with the choices I had made through out my life got me to where I am, my mom did somewhat influence me. She’s the only person that I truly have and that has never left my side. She never told me how to live my life, but she guided me all the way to achieve what ever it was that I wanted to do. She gave me words of wisdom, but at the end I made my final decisions, good and bad. In a way, I only had myself. There was a long period of time where I distanced myself from people and to this day, I distance myself from family. I never had an older sibling to guide me through things, for example, school. My mother was always working, so I usually had to go through these things on my own. Instead of having someone to actually look up to through out my years of middle school and high school, I had to figure these things on my own. I have had a lot of people walk out of my life, and it’s really hurtful and it’s something that has seriously affected me. I came to realize that it’s not good to get attached to people because I now have the mindset that people will leave my life, whether it’s in a good way or a bad way. I learned to not get too comfortable with people. I am someone who does not like to depend on others for anything. I am extremely independent; If I want something, I myself have to get it. I have had people guide me through certain situations that I couldn’t achieve, in this case, a therapist. I had a therapist for about a year, and that person didn’t tell me what to do or how to solve my problems, but they guided me, they gave me the “tools” to help myself. The biggest things that shaped me into the person I am today, and would continue to influence me, would be tough situations I have been through and continue to go through, as well as the negative things in general that we as people see on an everyday basis. I lived in a household where my parent was both my mom and dad. She is a negative example of who I do not want to be. She has been through really tough things and she ended up being a single parent having to take care of her children, with a part time job. Of course it is not her fault. I am extremely thankful for what she has done for me and my siblings, but I do not want to end up like that. There are other bad examples of people who I know, who I wish I would not end up as. I always lived “poorly”, I never had much growing up and I still don’t. It’s nobody’s fault, it’s just the way things turned out. I also went through this traumatic experience a couple of years ago, and I would’ve easily taken a terrible path, but I told my self and thought about the negative consequences that would have happened, and I decided to stay strong and continue with my life. I am in college now, and I have dreams to continue and hopefully get a high degree ad become someone in life. I don’t want to continue living the way I am now, I want get out of this situation for the better, and conquer what it is that I want to do. At the end when I achieve my dreams, it’s going to be because of me. Not only do I want to prove people who have doubted me,but most importantly I want to prove to myself that I am able to do anything I set my mind too. I’m full of wounds and I’m still standing on my feet and that’s something I will continue to do.

 

Preplanning: Who Inspired me in life?

Who influenced me? 

1. I inspired myself

– I only had myself to get me where I am today. I did not have an older sibling to look up too. Especially through school, I didn’t have a guide to teach me my way through, for example middle school and high school. I have a 13 year old brother whom I teach everything too. I want him to have me to look up too, I wouldn’t want him to be lost like I was.

– I am extremely independent; I do not like to depend on anyone for anything. I have people to guide me through certain situations, but I don’t depend on someone to do things for me. I know I can do it myself, and I will try. Of course if I can’t handle specific things on my own, then I will ask for help. Other than that, everything I have achieved has been through me and for me.

-My mother guided throughout my life, but at the end of the day, I make my OWN choices. Although she has guided me through out everything, I sometimes took her advice and then decided what was the correct thing to do. She can be someone I look up to, I see the way she bring herself to things, and that somewhat inspires me.

2. Tough Situations make me who I am today.

– I went through this traumatic experience and it shaped me and made me be more cautious towards everything. It was and still continues to be extremely hard; it’s something that I have to live with for the rest of my life. It opened my eyes, and it helped me to understand that some people can be very cold hearted. It made me be more cautious towards people. I still do not know why this situation had to occur, but it did. It made me realize that there are good and wrong in the world.

– My dad was never there for me (a huge part to why I decided to not depend on anybody). My dad is huge piece of the puzzle why I do not like to depend on people. He, was never a part of my life, and it has affected me a lot.

-I feel as if several people have walked out of my life. First my biological father and then my step dad. I’ve had many friends leave and it hurt. I have a tendency to care about people who do not even appreciate me or what I have done. I realize now, that I am older, that if someone doesn’t want to stay and be apart of me, than “oh well.” I’m not the type to beg for people to remain in my life, if you want to stay then stay, if not then bye. It’s something that took me awhile to get through my head because although I’ll say i don’t care, deep down i do. I’m a very caring, lovable person.

– Living with a single parent, and having to not fully enjoy my youth (having to grow up fast)

 

Cause & Effect

One of my many areas in success, is being the first of all 3 of my mom’s children to attend college.

1. Influences in my life:
• My mother

• Myself

• Hard situations (struggles) I’ve been through/ I am going through

• The negatives in every day life

2. Reasons I’m attending college

CAUSES:

•Get a degree on what I desire to be

•Be successful

•Be the first of my mom’s children to graduate from college

•To be “somebody”

• Find my place in life

•Meet new people

•Have several opportunities

EFFECTS:

•Having a degree

•Getting a career

•Having money